I held you sleeping
Your heart beat the puzzle of life
Having forgotten who I am again, I was spinning
Mama I am mama I will be
It came back to me like a snowflake landing on my pate
The message to me was this:
A person with her own vision
Like remembering a buried corpse
You see, I fell again
Into hiding
Drunk on the seeds of shame
Secretly lost
But a woman of vision sees in vivid colors
And holds vast spaces behind her eyes
The unjournied sea and land waiting for her footfall
To say, I have been here. I am home.
You carried me, son, while I carried you
To be brave even with terror and a shaking voice
Speaking to the crowd in my womanhood shame and pride
It was the new life you gave me, as I gave you new life
That night when I held your sleeping body to me
Your heart beat in mine
So hard my chest hurt
The tide pulling the moon
Healer boy love
Makes mama vivid
Gives me the message
Once again
Joanna Horton McPherson 